the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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