Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
whose parrot is this?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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