you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
