guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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