Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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