your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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