i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
