an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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