I'm so fucking centered right now
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
