Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
