We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
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