Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
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my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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