His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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