it wasn't lemon gatorade
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
