go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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