I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
