This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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