Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
