I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
