that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize