Swine flu. Run for my life!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize