I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you didnt know i had herpes?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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