Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
