There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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