Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
