yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
