Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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