Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
