i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
