I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
