There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
