no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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