Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
