I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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