I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
