Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just gift wrapped bread.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
