You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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