Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
