woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
