its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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