he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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