dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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