i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the day after is always just damage control
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
