I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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