In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
