After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
