why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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