Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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