dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
