Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
