So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
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they call him Oral-B. enough said
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
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I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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