69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
