woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize