So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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