What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
