I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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