Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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