covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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