you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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