yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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