She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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