i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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