i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
